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Gangsta Knitter

Tom and Doug are the Grandfathers of Knerdcore hip hop. Their knitting anthem Gangsta Knitter has influenced generations of purl'n pimps and stitch'n ho's. In Gangsta Knitter they have beef with Knitmaster SSK, who found out that Tom and Doug's knit'n'purl is even worse than their rap'n'flow…

Lyrics

Gangsta Knitter

Thomas P: I’ve got lots of trouble on my mind
My knitting’s smooth as ice
My yarn is spinning
The whole wide world knows I’m winning.
People like to call me Gangsta Knitter
And I work with the needles that are bigger.
When you’re finishing your first, I’m two-timing
Hear the nasty knitting rap that I’m rhyming
See I’m rich, see I’m smooth and fast
Knit so well knock you on your ass.
There’s a new line this season
See my gauge, so even
Knit and purl, make you stand when you’re sittin’
Like a trip on some page in Vogue Knitting.

Chorus: Gangsta Knitter, Knit for me! …

Doug: Word up – I’m a Gangsta Knitter!
Get back to your baby sitter!
I’m so good, see my scarf? Doesn’t curl
Number One, gettin’ jiggy with the girls.
If you see me coming better step to one side
A lot of men didn’t, though not many tried
One fist of mohair, the other of wool
I’m gonna knit your socks off you slow-knitting fool!
Look there, can’t you see? My ribs are nice and tight
You’re too slow you knitting neophyte.
When I’m finished my hems never pucker
Unlike your sorry seams mother f*

Chorus: Gangsta Knitter, Knit for me! …

Knitmaster SSK: Stand back boys,
you should both take a hike
Master SSK is stepping to the mike.
Your gauge is wrong, you dropped a stitch
I can knit so well that you’ll both be my bitch!
You two scrubs you knit like a jackass
Don’t ya know? I’m knitting with alpaca.
Didn’t weave your ends in, you bind off tight
Your sweater’s always looking like they just lost a fight!

Chorus: Gangsta Knitter, Knit for me! …

Knitmaster SSK: Go back to patterns, little boys,
We’re freestyling here.
Doug: Owww!
Thomas P.: Ouch!
Doug: Oh man, that was harsh!
Thomas P.: That was harsh, Doug…
Knitmaster SSK: Rip it out!

Discography

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wiki/gangsta_knitter.txt · Last modified: 2009/01/07 04:20 by maschenguru
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